


Mado Kara Mieru

by MikazukiMunechika305



Series: After The End [3]
Category: Saiyuki, Saiyuki Gaiden
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-18 10:54:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9381374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MikazukiMunechika305/pseuds/MikazukiMunechika305
Summary: Goku can't do anything but watch the seasons change from inside his cave. With every season, always after 25 years, he gets a visitor, coming to check on him. He doesn't remember any of those meetings. But in summer of the 500th year, he doesn't forget.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Neither the title nor the characters belong to me... I got the inspiration from this song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4Pw3wPSF9Q), which is part of a Saiyuki Fanmix I downloaded and stands for the 500 years Goku spends on the mountain. And so, as I was listening to it, I got this idea.  
> Please enjoy reading, and I'm always happy to receive comments!
> 
> ("Mado Kara Mieru" translates to "from the window I see...", which I think matches the way Goku has to watch days and nights pass from his cave.)

It’s a cold, gloomy fall day.  
_‘Ten-chan, Ken-nii, Konzen—where are you?’_  
I don’t know where I know these names from, why they are in my mind, who those people are. All I know is that when I think of those names, a warmth spreads through my body.  
And so, I think of them. I think of them even though there’s something inside my heart that tells me I shouldn’t think of them, even though together with the warmth there comes a small, stinging pain in my heart.  
The cold doesn’t feel that bad anymore, when I think of those people.  
“Ken-nii,” I say out loud, even though there’s nobody to listen to me.  
Of course. Who would want to spend this cold, gloomy day on the top of a mountain?  
“Ten-chan,” is the next one I try. And then, at last, “Konzen.”  
The names leave a warm feeling on my tongue, too. I don’t feel that lonely anymore.  
I don’t know how much time has passed, but suddenly I hear steps outside. Immediately I sit upright, wondering who this might be.  
Nobody ever comes up here… at least I don’t remember anyone coming here—  
“You’re a troublesome one, Goku,” a voice says quietly, and slowly, I can make out the face of a person—a woman, probably.  
She’s pretty—she has long dark hair, wears white clothes and has beautiful violet eyes… but those eyes as well as her smile are obviously sad.  
“Well, it’s probably my own fault, though,” she adds, reaching through the bars separating us and gently sliding her hand through my hair.  
The woman kneels down to be at eye level with me. “I’m sorry, Goku,” she mutters, her voice quiet and sad now. “It’s because I had Konzen take you in… that all of this happened. That you’re here now. You might have forgotten, but I can’t… I envy you,” she chuckles miserably.  
“Who is he?” I ask hoarsely. “Konzen. And Ten-chan, and Ken-nii… who—”  
“Shh, little one,” she shushes me gently. “It’s better if you don’t remember. You’ll be sad if you do.”  
“I don’t mind being sad,” I object. “I want to know…”  
Her hand stops, clenching slightly and tugging on my hair just enough for it not to hurt. “I can’t tell you. It hurts too much, for all of us.”  
A terrible feeling spreads throughout my body. The warmth those names have given me is gone.  
“I’m leaving them for you, Goku. Your name, and the hope…” She sounds worse now, even sadder than before, her voice is nearly shaking.  
For a reason I don’t know, tears are starting to well up in my eyes.  
The woman inches a little closer to the bars and smiles a little. “Just 75 more years to go, Goku. You can do it. Of the 500 years you have to spend here, only 75 are left… you’ll be fine, as long as you keep that seed of hope in your heart.”  
These words feel so strangely familiar, but before I can say anything, her second hand covers my forehead and a heavy fatigue crashes down on me.

When I wake up, I’m alone. That’s nothing unusual—there have been so many mornings when I’ve woken up all alone.  
It’s icily cold, and I roll up into a tight ball immediately in order to keep just a little of my warmth.  
_‘Konzen.’_  
My head shoots up and I stare out of my prison, suddenly very awake—but there’s nobody, and I don’t know why that name, ‘Konzen,’ has suddenly crossed my mind.  
“Konzen,” I say quietly, just to try what it sounds like, and I immediately feel happier, warmer, and the snow doesn’t look as quiet and scary as it usually does for a moment.  
Because I’m still staring out of my cave, it doesn’t take long for me to notice the person approaching me.  
A woman, tall and beautiful—at least by my standards, which certainly isn’t much to go by. After all I don’t remember ever seeing another human being before.  
Her white clothes remind me of the snow, but her black hair and her violet eyes make a hard contrast to all the white around us.  
“Who are you?” I ask slowly.  
She just kneels down in front of me to be at eye level with me, her glance tender and kind of sad. “Goku,” she says, and the name stirs something inside me.  
“Is that… my name?”  
A little smile spreads on her lips. “So this time, you remember it,” she mutters, gently placing a hand on the top of my head.  
I tilt my head to the side slightly. “Can you tell me… who Konzen is?”  
The smile stays, but her eyes seem to turn a little bit darker. “So you remember him as well, huh… Konzen… was my nephew. Your adoptive father.”  
Sadness as heavy as the shackles holding me here hangs in the air, I feel like I can almost touch it.  
The woman slides her hand down through my hair and gently caresses my cheek. “If you want to cry, do it now,” she says, although it sounds like a request. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do more for you and him… and your friends, Goku.”  
“Our friends,” my voice breaks.  
She looks as if she wanted to hug me, as if she’d just do it if there weren’t the bars between us. “Yes, your friends. The people you loved.”  
But even though I feel myself tensing up in preparation of coming apart beneath her gentle touch, there aren’t any tears I could shed.  
Almost as if I had cried too much before, and I hadn’t enough tears left to cry anymore.  
“I understand,” the woman mumbles quietly. “Can you accept my apology, Goku?”  
She seems as if she’s suffering, too.  
_‘Maybe she doesn’t often show her real feelings,’_ I think, and so I instinctively nod.  
She smiles in relief and places her other hand on my forehead—and a warm, white fog, accompanied by a heavy fatigue, lowers itself over my eyes.  
“50 more years, little one. It’s fine.”

—Some time later, my only friend, a little bird, lies in the snow in front of my cave just out of my reach, motionlessly.  
My heart breaks, and it feels like this doesn’t happen for the first time.  
Deep in my heart, I have a distant memory of a black-haired woman stroking my hair gently, but in this situation, when I feel like I need someone to be with me the most, she doesn’t come to comfort me.—

I’m in a surprisingly good mood. It’s spring, the sun is shining, birds are chirping…  
I still remember my little bird, my friend, dying right in front of my eyes, but on this day, for some reason it doesn’t bother me as much as it usually does.  
“Hey… I’m back, Goku,” a strangely familiar voice says, and I look up at the black-haired woman approaching me. “This is my last time to come here.”  
I feel like I know her, she feels very familiar to me, so I don’t bother asking who she is. “Your last time?” I ask instead. “Why?”  
“Your 500 years are almost over. There are only 25 left… I won’t come here again. The next time we meet, I won’t have to take everything from you anymore. You won’t be alone anymore.”  
Hearing this feels strangely calming, as if a part of me knew there was someone going to come and free me.  
“Goku,” the woman says. “I don’t have much time today. Just a little… I just wanted to come see you a last time, to make sure you’re fine.”  
“I’m fine,” I reply, as if she was my mother. “I’ll be fine even if you’re not here… I think. Besides, we’ll meet again, right?”  
She smiles proudly. “Yes, that’s right, Goku. We’ll meet again. And even if we don’t, I’ll be watching you from Heaven.”  
_‘She’s a goddess_ , _’_ I remember. And I smile up at her, “I know, Bosatsu-san.”  
A chuckle leaves her lips. “The others would be proud to see you like this. Now, Goku…”  
She kneels down in front of me and her hand takes mine. “I’ll make sure to keep an eye on you, as I promised.”  
“Who did you promise that?” I ask curiously.  
“Your adoptive father,” she answers solemnly. “My nephew.”  
And with that, she places one hand on my forehead.  
The fatigue and fog coming over me are warm, soft, and gentle and take me in as if I was a part of them. It almost feels pleasant.

It’s early summer, I think. It’s not too hot yet, but too warm for spring.  
It’s probably evening, for the sun is already sinking slowly.  
I’m watching it through the bars keeping me in the cave like every evening, like I always have.  
Until I hear steps approaching me.  
At first sight, it feels like the person walking there is no different from the sun.  
My eyes are wide in an attempt to take all in all of his shine, and when he stops in front of me, I almost can’t believe he’s really talking to me.  
“Are you the one who called for me all this time?”  
“I… haven’t been calling for anyone,” I reply hesitatingly.  
A frown hushes across his beautiful face. “Don’t lie, I’m still hearing you clearly. Shut up, it’s really annoying.” He reaches out for me, and I look at him in disbelief.  
“What are you waiting for? I’m taking you with me.”  
Slowly, still admiring him, I lift my hand to take his.  
I barely notice all the seals coming off the bars and the shackles falling off my wrists and ankles.  
_‘Like the sun.’_


End file.
